Saturday, February 23, 2013

guida

Sometimes it's the little things that make you feel like you are surviving just fine in Rome. Maybe it's knowing to always bring change. Maybe it's knowing to check that your metro ticket was properly stamped. Maybe it's knowing that trying to unfold clothing in certain stores will cause an outrage as severe as if you had tried to shove said item into your purse and walk out of the store even if you explain to the clerk that you are a Certified Folder who spent TWO years in the Benetton school of folding program. This may stop them in their tracks and they will ask, "Benetton where? Benetton in Italy?" And when you shamefully admit it was a Benetton in America, they will order you from the premises. Which will be fine because you didn't have the correct change anyway.

What makes me feel like I am surviving just fine in Rome is driving on the "back roads." Anyone can drive on highways.Well, more or less.Okay, sort of. It's the back roads with their unmarked one-way streets and infinite lane possibilities  and lack of laws that make the Wild Wild West look like it was ruled with an iron-fist. This is what makes me feel I'm doing okay. Are you three lanes over but need to make a left hand turn? Not a problem. Is there a car going slowly on a one lane road? Well, heck join the cars passing it on both sides. Red light ahead? Know that nothing short of four cars abreast is going to cut it. And first one there has dibs on what will constitute the lane. Someone honking because you are stuck in traffic? If you don't wave your hand at them in a bah motion, you will ruin their entire day.

I won't exaggerate: I can't text, talk on the phone, smoke a cigarette and read the newspaper while I'm driving. I haven't yet reached that level of Jedi training. But I can drive over the sidewalk to pass another car with the best of them.

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