Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Tales from abroad

A conversation amongst Mike and his colleagues:
[Regarding all of the various CSI programs]
There should be a CSI: Rome, but every episode would sound like this: "You can't be dead, you don't have the proper paperwork, you'll need your codice fiscale and 2 other forms of identification.  Please wait in line Q49." Or, "How did this happen?  Ahhh, tomorrow.  Let's talk about it tomorrow.  Yeah, fine, tomorrow."

Monday, June 18, 2012

Long Term Rental Wanted

Because I know that laundry is hung to dry; those aren't really two toilets in the bathroom; hand-held showers are normal; built-in American style closets are few and far between; air conditioning is absurd; and yes, living space will be much much smaller, I thought I had a leg up on all those House Hunter International couples that can't wrap their head around the fact that the washing machine could be located in the kitchen.

However, in wading through the rentals in Rome, I now realize that my ignorance of European living greatly surpasses anything that I thought I knew.

Here is what I have translated thus far:

-Fully stocked kitchen means there will be at least one appliance. It may be a hot plate. It may be a washing machine. It may even be an oven. Anything else, including a light bulb handing from an overhead wire, will be considered a bonus. Or not. You may be charged extra.

-Newly Restored means restored anytime between Nero fiddling and 1950. Quite frankly, I will give them that one. When many dates in a country have the initials "B.C." after them, I think they can claim a remodel in the 1800s as "new."

-Antique Decor = totally haunted.

-Eat-in Kitchen. If the kitchen has a stove, you will absolutely have enough room to lift a spoon to your mouth and taste what you are cooking.

-Lovely Little Terrace means one of the windows has a window ledge.

-Ample Terrace means you can go ahead and buy that Chia Pet you've been coveting

-Unique. Half the floor is gorgeous tile, the other half is AstroTurf.

-Charming = also totally haunted, but with a fireplace.

-Spacious in desirable location means already rented.