I now know why Italians always wear scarves, even during the scorching temperatures of summer. It is because there is always someone on the metro whose armpit emits a steady stream of noxious fumes, invisible tentacles creeping through the air to ambush unsuspecting victims. If I manage to snag a seat, inevitably someone will grab the bar above my head, armpit parallel to my nose. So I have started standing, hoping this would limit my odiferous experience. It doesn't work. The smell will find its way to me. This is where the scarves come in. Scarves. Scarves are the answer. If you have a scarf, you can wrap it around your nose and mouth like you are making your way through the eye watering smoke of a fire.
On the subject of Italian fashion staples, I have broken the one rule that should never be broken. We all know that leggings are not pants. They are tights without feet. They are meant to be worn under something, anything. But not on their own as pants. Except here, where leggings are pants. On women of all shapes, sizes, and ages. And like Stockholm Syndrome, I've started to think it looks acceptable. Normal, even. I have already embraced skinny jeans, which someone as short and un-storked leg as I should never wear. And now I have worn leggings. As pants. And I felt like I blended in. Because generally I feel like I stand out in a not good way. No matter how much I study them, I can't figure out how to makes my clothes look as awesome and effortless as the natives. I feel like an archaeologist studying a rare tribe. And they have all mastered a way to make their clothes fit or drape or not-fit in a way I cannot achieve. I can be walking behind a group of girls, marveling that they are wearing leggings with unlaced high top sneakers and suddenly one will turn and I will realize they are 72 years old and still making it work. Damn!
Thus the leggings. I wore them as pants all day, walking around Rome. I felt normal. I changed clothes before Mike and John came home and saw me.
|if you have ever before read this blog, you should be able to find waldo straight away. Un-ironic shoes with white socks? bingo.|
|they finally cut the grass. which is great because every time Sookie peed, we lost sight of her.|
|and then they raked and bagged the grass. except they used a broom. and a snow shovel.|
|Judge J: "It's a cobra and it's well-done. A-."|
Judge M:"B. It's original, it's fun. It's like it's saying, 'Hey, come enjoy Rome.'"
Judge A: "I like this one as well. It's a good use of space and I like snakes. A-."
|Judge J: "C+. It says 'King Koes.'"|
Judge A: "I think it's a misspelling of Kinkos and I'm not a fan of product placement, but I encourage the use of paper over electronic devices for reading. C."
Judge M: "A."
|Judge A: "I like the bubble letters. And pink and orange are one of my favorite color combinations. A."|
Judge M: "Illegible. Big, bubble-gum pink...B."
Judge J: " F, due to using the letter J for rubbish."
|Judge M: "It's a cheat. Terrible. No risk, and it doesn't even make sense. F."|
Judge A:"I think it's well-thought out in that it would requite time to make the stencil before doing the graffiti. A-."
Judge J:"They took their time. A-."