Monday, April 14, 2014

A whole lot of nothing

I just realized that last year around this time I posted a rant about the influx of people wanting to enjoy a vacation in Rome. Which means that not only am I kind of an a*%hole, but also that I re-tell the same stories. Wait, is that redundant?

I have been sitting on our balcony a lot as of late because the weather has been lovely and there are no crowds on our balcony. Because I do not have the miracle gene possessed by Italians that allows them to retain their beautiful skin while smoking and tanning, I wear a big hat when I am in the sun. And I mention this because my big hat is currently on the floor because if I put it away I will have to go get it later and I can't put it on the table because it makes me think of that movie in which Matt Dillon was a drug addict? And maybe robbed pharmacies? And Heather Grahm wore a hat and put it on the bed and Matt Dillon freaked out because it was bad luck to put a hat on the bed and sure enough she ended up dying and they had to hide her body in the ceiling. Or maybe they had to hide the drugs in the ceiling. Either way, I just realized that means I can put my hat on the table because the bed was bad luck but no one said anything about a table!

And I think that maybe Heather Graham was also prostitute in that movie. And that makes me recall that when I am waiting for my son's school bus, people always slow down and gawk at me because I am just standing alone on the side of the road and I started worrying that maybe people think I'm a prostitute? Granted, I've never actually seen a prostitute in the city. They are always out on random stretches of highways of sorts and they are usually sitting on lawn chairs. Also, when I am waiting for the school bus, I am usually wearing non-fashion sneakers and non-fashion jeans and some type of poncho and my hair is in a very non-fashion braid and sometimes I even have my pull-along grocery carrier with me because I stopped at the market on the way and sometimes people stop to give me a couple of euro, so I have come to the conclusion that people probably just think I'm a gypsy.

*Disclaimer: No one has actually ever given me a couple of euro because change is an extremely precious commodity and if you have ever read this blog, you know darn well no one has any change.

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